You are the sun

So it’s July and we’re half way through the year. In my business training it’s all about looking at where I am - seeing what’s worked, what’s not and what I need to do going forward.

In my personal life I’m doing the same.

At the beginning of the year I was in New Zealand having the time of my life. I was the happiest I’ve been in a long time. Because of this I brought home a lot of the habits I started there. As a family we were happier too.  So I decided I should put more effort into time out of the house with the kids. It was going to be all about fun - that was my motto for the year.

But it’s not all worked.

When you’re dealing with arguments and hormones and mismatched interests it means not every trip is the fun time I anticipated. So organising day trips etc was actually making me feel worse.

What I've come to realise recently is that I need to make myself happy.  The fun should start with me.  I’ve talked a few times about the book I’m reading - a Year of Yes by Shonda Rimes. It’s been resonating with me so much in so many ways. One of the ways was that I decided it was time to say yes to me and to the things I want to do. And in doing so, this doesn’t make me a bad mother. It actually makes me a better mother - I’m more relaxed, less cross and don’t feel resentment.  I also think I’m setting a better example.

As mums we’re often guilty of putting everyone else first. When the kids were little that was the right thing for me to do and I loved our times together. But it was all about them. We had no date nights (no babysitter), I was rarely out of an evening if it wasn’t for work. And any music, film and TV in my life was all kids stuff!

So now it’s all about me

Some of the things I’ve added in:

• joined a choir
• listen to music regularly
• gone to concerts
• cut down on alcohol
• walked
• enjoyed the sun
• practiced hypopressives
• lost weight
• bought clothes
• added in a regular massage
• read
• gone to the cinema on my own, to see things I want to see
• organised trips out
• had impromptu trips out
• danced
• sat in the garden
• ate out (sometimes on my own)
• put kids into holiday clubs

In doing these things, I’m starting to recognise the person I used to be coming back. And I like it!

It's so isolating when you’re a new mum - what can you add in just for you?

And when you’re further down the mum road and doing all the baby classes - when’s your time?

And when the kids are growing up and need you less - what’s left?

What if you are the sun and your family revolve round you. How would that look?